Year of Liz Update #1
I promised honest updates on my Year of Liz goals, so here we are!
But first, a quick word of caution before you proceed: this post is a bit long because I wanted to fit in updates for all three goals. If you are not interested in all three, skip to the one you want!
As I mentioned in a previous post about creating the perfect goal in 5 steps, step #4 is to write it down. That means not only writing down the goal itself, which I did in my non-journal, but checking in on the goal and writing down your progress.
With that in mind, the way I am going to approach this update is to ask myself four questions for each of my goals:
- What are the steps you have taken so far (whether they have worked or not) toward achieving your goal? What is working? What needs to be changed?
- What does your current progress look like? Are you where you expected to be?
- What have you learned along the way? Provide some words of wisdom to yourself, remember your original motivations, and see if it is time for a reward of some kind.
- What is/are the step(s) you are going to take moving forward, no matter how big or small? What might you be able to do today?
So without further ado, here goes nothing:
Goal #1: Purge my crap.
Steps I have taken so far:
With this goal, I started by doing some research. I found blogs about living a minimalist life and read the popular book, The Joy of Less. I also learned in conversation that my coworker was awesome at this, so I asked her if she would be willing to check in and see how I was doing every now and then. I figured why not go to the experts, since this is something I clearly have not been naturally motivated to do in the past?
Nick and I also bought a house last month, which is by far the most adult thing we have ever done (yes, I realize we are parents, but still). So as a result, this goal was forced to make tremendous progress! Before we started packing, we went through every room in the house and ended up bringing about 2-3 cars full worth of items to Goodwill. It. felt. awesome.
I also kept a habit tracker for this goal. To be honest, I only updated it twice, but having a visual has been incredibly rewarding. Here is an updated photo from my non-journal of what I am referring to:
While reflecting on what has worked and what hasn’t, I realized that in this case, all the steps I took worked really well overall. I broke things down into smaller chunks (i.e. one room, or even one corner, at a time), forced myself to take a couple of days off to dedicate to this project while the girls could still be at daycare, and once I got going, the momentum was fairly easy to keep up because I saw instant results.
If I could change anything, I wish I realized sooner that I needed to take some time off work to purge. In the beginning I tried to work on this after the girls went to bed, but the reality is I never chose to use what little energy I had left at the end of the day for this goal.
Current progress:
I am just slightly behind where I expected to be at this point, and overall and am really proud of the progress we made. Sure, buying a house made this goal a top priority, and maybe even a necessity, but I’ll take it!
Words of wisdom to myself:
DO THIS EVERY YEAR! The girls’ birthday fall 6 months after Christmas, so perhaps before each of those two holidays we do a small-scale purge. Nick and I don’t tend to buy a lot for them, but our family and friends do (which we appreciate – no complaining here!), so it would be a great excuse to do walkthrough of the house, donate things none of us use regularly, and make way for some new things to come in.
Also, please think really critically before buying anything new. It took a lot of work to get to this point, so just make sure it is something you really want.
Lastly, of all the motivations you wrote down, the one that will probably influence you the most is to have the ability to not have to clean very much before people come over (i.e. you get to be lazier). Remember that.
Step(s) moving forward:
This has given me some renewed energy and focus, so this weekend I plan on finishing the purge once and for all. That means that I need to do a walk through of our bedroom, kitchen, the girls’ room, and our cars, and I will be done. Then, maybe I will have earned one of the rewards I originally wrote, if they are still things I want.
Goal #2: Get Involved In My Local Government.
Reflection on steps I have taken so far:
To be honest, this goal stresses me out. It is not in my nature to be outspoken (although I do realize the irony of writing that statement on my very public blog). I really don’t even want to write about this. I value conflict when it serves a purpose to improve something in my life or someone else’s, but often with arguments about politics that does not seem to occur…ever.
Alright, I’ll step off my soapbox now and get to the point.
Similar to purging my crap, this is something that I don’t feel particularly knowledgeable about, so I decided to find an expert. A good friend of mine knows more than anyone else I know about our local government and ways to get involved. I invited her over to share some wisdom with me, and to my delight she was PUMPED to do so. It was a refreshing reminder that people enjoy sharing the things they are passionate about, so I should never be hesitant to ask for help.
She provided me with some websites to follow, helped me think more critically about which issues I care most about, and most importantly, she got me excited for the first time about an area that I just never cared for.
Current progress:
Alright, so this goal started really strong, but since that initial meeting a few months ago, it has quite honestly fallen to the wayside. For about a month or so I called my elected officials in Indianapolis and D.C. to tell them my thoughts and I felt really good. Unfortunately, the more I dove into certain issues, the more it stressed me out. It became painfully obvious once again that this is something that I intellectually think is important, but in my gut it causes me discomfort.
Long story short, I think I need to do some soul searching and reevaluate if this goal is something that is still important to me.
Words of wisdom to myself:
Liz, if you decide to pause or stop this goal altogether, it doesn’t mean you failed at it. You have given it an honest effort. But before you decide to pull the plug, do some digging and coach yourself. Find out what is at the root of this issue for you, because you were really motivated about it in the beginning. Surely that means it is important to you on some level, but what is it exactly that you hope to achieve?
Step(s) moving forward:
Set up a time to be coached by a colleague (I have a few friends who are earning professional coaching certificates right now and who need people to practice on). Get to the bottom of what it important about this goal so that you can decide whether you want to keep at it, or re-frame it in some way.
Goal #3: Lose the Weight.
Reflection on steps I have taken so far:
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. I LOVE/HATE THIS GOAL SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH.
This is the big one. The one I know for a fact is important to me, the one that I don’t think I’ll ever totally let go of. And yet, I work so little at it :).
Now, it hasn’t been all bad. I have lost about 6 pounds, and even with fluctuating since then, on average I have managed to keep that weight off. Mostly this is a result of being more strict with portion control at dinner time (i.e. not eating everything my daughters don’t finish), skipping alcohol almost altogether for several weeks, and eating fewer carbs (lots of meat and cheese? Yes please.).
I also met with a nutritionist for free through work and I was really optimistic about that. Unfortunately, all of his ideas for healthy meals were not very toddler-friendly, so I did not put them into practice. Perhaps in time the girls will eat beef and broccoli stir fry, but for now that’s just not the case, and I am not willing to make a separate meal for myself each night.
Lastly, I started going to physical therapy to work on my diastasis recti, a fairly common abdominal muscle issue as a result of carrying multiples. Not only was I able to strengthen my core again – no, we are not talking 6-pack abs here – but I learned new exercises to strengthen me so that I’m not constantly in pain from bending down and picking things (and small people) up. Some of the exercises I was given were similar to yoga, which is something I have tried in the past but hasn’t stuck.
Current progress:
It started strong, but I think have plateaued to some degree; I have gone as far as I can without external help. That being said, I have been proud of myself for getting back on the horse when I have fallen off over the weeks. This goal has certainly had its ups and downs (i.e. the obscene amount of beer and snacks I consumed over the course of 9 days at my in-laws’ cottage in Michigan was, let’s just say, slightly off the wagon).
Words of wisdom to myself:
A lower number on the scale would be great, but maybe you need to reframe how you think about this goal. Instead consider how strong you want to be for your daughters. Not just mentally and emotionally strong – that in itself is a workout you conquer (almost) every day. But it’s time to be physically strong for them, too.
Step(s) moving forward:
It might be time to dedicate money to a personal trainer. With the start of the academic year just around the corner, I don’t think this is likely to happen in the immediate future, but perhaps sometime after fall break. I need to determine how much it will cost, talk to Nick about it, and go from there.
I also should consider trying yoga again. After all, how many exercises are there to do in the comfort of your living room?
Final Thoughts:
Writing this post was so helpful because it required me to look back at my non-journal and see what my original deadlines were, what my motivations were, and how I was going to reward myself. But, I realize some of you may be thinking – who has time to write down this kind of detailed update for each of my goals??? – to which I would answer with this thought experiment:
How might formally checking in on your goal progress energize you to keep moving forward? What might you need to be reminded of? How might taking some time now help save you time in the long run?